"Best Laid Plans"
Felix couldn’t believe that Sarah was married. He felt as though the world had grown up and left him behind. He felt that none of them were old enough to be married and starting their own families. Now, before the dimming fire burning in the hearth, the King family and few leftover guests talked over the events of the day, just as they had a few years earlier after Felicity and Gus had been joined together eternally. "Your speech was wonderful Aunt Hetty, really. I think it was even better that the one given at our wedding," commented Felicity, as she shifted new-born Lily in her arms. "Sarah was gorgeous," said Olivia. "She sure has grown up a lot since the first day she set foot on this Island." "That’s for sure. She’s not the sweet, golden-haired ten year old we all like to remember. She’s grown into a beuatiful, sofisticated, successful young woman," Janet praised. "I wonder who the next to get married will be," said Hetty. "Probably Felix," said Olivia practically. "Or Izzy." "Or both," Felix whispered in Izzy’s ear. "What was that Felix?" asked Mr. Pettibone.Izzy blushed and Felix looked sheepish. "No-n-n-nothing," he stammered, weakly managing a smile. Izzy took a hold of his hand and stood up, bringing Felix to his feet along with her. "Actually, now that you all mentioned it…" "Izz…now?" Felix whispered, avoiding the eyes of confused adults. "Why not?" she whispered back. She turned to the others. "Excuse us for a moment won’t you?" she said as she led Felix out of the parlor and into the kitchen. They heard Izzy whisper, "Felix, what is the matter with you," before the door shut behind them They all looked at one another silently. Olivia tried unsuccessfully to stifle her giggles but it proved to be an epidemic. Soon the whole room was bubbling over with laughter. In the kitchen, Felix and Izzy sat at the table, quizzically listening to the laughter in the other room, and deciding whether or not to let everyone in on their secret. "I think we should just tell them and get it over with!" said Izzy. "Can’t we just enjoy being engaged on our own first?" asked Felix, looking up sweetly and seductively at her. She couldn’t help but smile. She moved around the table until she sat in his lap. She very carefully kissed the top of his head and tried to stand up. But Felix pulled her back to down and pressed his lips to hers in a kiss that could only be described as magical."Yeah," she whispered breathlessly, "we can just enjoy it before we tell everyone else. But I don’t know if I can keep it a secret for very long!""I know, I don’t think I’ve ever been this excited over anything in my entire life! When I think that every morning for the rest of my life I’m going to wake next to you Izz I…I can’t even describe how I feel." "Oh Felix, I love you so much!""Well, shall we go back in there? Let’s just tell them all tonight. I mean we’ve got them all together now, we might as well. You and I will celebrate later. We’ll sneak out while they’re all ooh-ing and aww-ing and take a walk, get away from it all for awhile, okay?" "Yeah," she whispered.They got up and returned to the parlor where their respective families were waiting. "Okay, we’re back," said Izzy. But Felix grabbed her hand and turned her around, walking back into the kitchen. "No we’re not," he told everyone. "Felix! What are you doing now?" He shut the kitchen door behind them "I just thought of something Izzy! Maybe I should ask your father for your hand. I mean Gus asked my father for Felicity’s…father asked my grandfather for mother’s…and your father probably asked for your mother’s…it seems like the right thing to do, doesn’t it?" Izzy thought for a moment. "No," she said. "It’s my decision whether or not I want to marry you, and that’s what I want, so that’s what I’m going to do. I’m not going to marry you because father ‘gave you my hand,’ I’m going to marry you because I love you! My father doesn’t own me…I won’t be given away. That’s like saying I can’t take care of or think for myself. I’m not just being passed from father’s care and concern into yours, we’re entering into an equal partnership…aren’t we?" she asked cautiously. "Izz, you know that’s what I think. But our parents, they grew up in a different time, when that was what happened when you got married. It’s not like that anymore, but I think we need to be sensitive to their traditions." Izzy looked disapprovingly at him. "Well, I suppose you’re right. But I refused to be a pawn in some masculine power-trip." Felix smiled. " You know, that’s exactly why I love you.""Because I’m crazy?""No, because you demand that life live up to your standards. The least I can do is ask for his blessing.""All right. But we will do it. And for everyone’s benefit. Not just to play up my father’s sense of manliness." But inspite of the discipline in her words, a smile parted her lips. "Let’s go." Felix nodded."Well you two," said Janet looking up at her son and trying to hold back her laughter. "Can we assume that you won’t turn around and run back into the kitchen this time?""Yes you can mother," smiled Felix. He looked at Izzy. "Take it away Izz," he told her."Oh, all right. Umm, well, I…Felix…we…hmm…"Izzy spat out. Felix grinned and came to her rescue."What Izzy is trying to say is…" "Felix and I want to get married and we’re asking all of you for your blessing," Izzy interrupted.Suddenly their faces fell. They had not expected this. "Well…I…you," stammered Janet. "You want to what?" asked Olivia "You’re only eighteen!" cried Murielle. "You’re not getting married!" said HettyBut the worst came from Clive Pettibone. "Felix King, you’ve got a lot of nerve. You didn’t even consult with me about this first. Since when do young men waltz around proposing to young girls without properly asking their father’s for their hand? You are a despicable young man, Felix. Come along Izzy!" His face was red with anger. Felix and Izzy stood there completely stunned. This was not the reaction they had thought they would get. "No," Izzy told him, somewhat bewildered. "What did you say?" he father demanded. Izzy recovered her wits. "I said, ‘no’ father, and I meant it. I’m not going anywhere." She reached out for Felix’s hand. "Felix and I are getting married father, whether you like it or not. And before you go into the barn searching for your riffle, Felix did want to ask for my hand. But I wouldn’t let him. I don’t believe in it. I am not yours father…I am not a possession to be given away, to be handed from one man to another. Not only did I not want you to give Felix my hand, I don’t want you to ‘give’ me away. I am going to marry Felix on my own free will, because I love him. I am not being given to him! We are giving ourselves to each other! Don’t you understand? Things are different now than when you were young! I am going to marry Felix father and you can’t stop me!" A dreadful silence drifted over the house as Izzy ended her speech. "I want your blessing father. And I do want you to walk me down the isle and stand with me, along with Murielle, just as we would like to have Janet and Alec stand with Felix. We want you all there because you are important to us; you’ve shaped us into the people that we are. Our beliefs are different that yours, but that’s only because things have changed, we’ve changed, you’ve changed. But that’s not to say we can’t work things out. Whatever you do father, don’t let our differences stand in the way. You just have to realize that we will do this our way. Please understand," Izzy said in a much softer tone. "If that’s the way it is Izzy, than fine. But don’t expect me to be happy, and don’t expect me to be there," Clive said, his voice choking as he left the house. Izzy sank into a chair and a single tear rolled down her face. She mutely and gently shook her head, "I thought he would understand. I thought that he’d put it all aside because he loved me." Felix was still stunned. He could not believe what had just happened. He looked down at Izzy and took her face in one of his hands. He wiped away a tear with his thumb. "It’s okay Izzy. Everything will be okay. I promise." He drew her in for a hug and her kissed her hair. She pressed her face into his chest as the waterfall of tears flowed from her beautiful brown eyes. "Izz, do you want to go for that walk?" She shook her head and he helped her to her feet. Suddenly he realized that his whole family, along with Murielle, was still in the room and had witnessed the intimate moment between the two. "We’re going for a walk," he told them. "Izzy, wait!" cried Murielle getting up from her seat. "Your father loves you so much. He’s just hurt. I’m sure he feels like he means nothing to you after the way you spoke. Izzy you were very cold. But I know you didn’t mean everything you said. He’ll cool off and I’ll talk to him. Don’t worry, okay?" "Murielle?" Izzy asked. "What do you think? Do you think I’m right about the whole thing?" "I think that if those are you beliefs than you should live by them. But you can’t neglect the way you were brought up. Right now, your father thinks that you have turned your back on everything he ever taught you. You need to let him know that you love him. Don’t let it go too long Izzy. Talk to him in the morning." "Thank you Murielle." "You’re welcome." "I might not come home tonight. If I don’t you’ll know that I’m here at the King farm." Murielle nodded. "Just make sure you bunk with Cecily…" "And not Felix…I know!" said Izzy smiling. As they walked out of the house, Izzy tried desperatly to cling onto the happy careless façade she’s used on Murielle. But as they stepped out into the late spring evening, the ache in her heart contracted and sent waves of pain throughout her. She collapsed onto Felix as the tears became too numerous to hold back. "Felix…" she wept. "I’m right here," he said, tightening his hold around her small figure, protecting her as the rain started to come dowm. "I’ll always be right here." They madew their way through the fields of the King Farm. "I can’t believe they reacted that way!" she exclaimed. "Look on the bright side, honey…at least it’s over with! At least we won’t have to go through telling them our intensions again." "Oh but is going to get much worse! I know my father. He’ll insist that I go back to Halifax with him, I know he will. I couldn’t bear to be away from you again. But I know that’s what my father will do! And I can see it now, my father will shoot his mouth off and make your parents angry and there’ll be a rift between our families and nothing will go as planned and maybe it would just be better if…" "Izzy! Izzy, come on. You’re scaring me. It almost sounds as if…as if…" "As if I were doubting out relation ship?" she said slowly and quietly. "As if I were going to tell you that maybe our parents are right, and that I should go back to Halifax, and we shouldn’t be together?" "Yeah." Izzy looked down. "No, no Izzy please! After all we been through? You’re willing to turn your back on me…on us? Izzy come on! We belong with each other. Please don’t leave! I love you! I’ll always love you! Tell me you believe that Izz, tell me! Your father will get over this – I’ll talk to him! And even if he doesn’t…so what? We’ll have each other! We don’t need anyone else! To Hell with them all! I love you!" Felix was histerical. He was screaming and crying and shaking. Izzy began to ball uncontrolably. "I know. And I’ll always love you. But…" "No buts Isolde Pettibone! I will NOT let you walk away from me!" his toned softtened. "This can’t be it." "Than why does it feel like it is?" she whispered. She looked down at her hands and slipped off the beautiful engagement ring Felix had giver her. She opened his hand and placed it in his palm."Izzy…""Felix, please. It has to be this way. I’m so sorry! Now please, don’t make this more painful than it already is, and turn around, and walk away from me. But don’t ever forget that I love you. I’ll love you forever." Felix was about to open his mouth in protest, but her finger pressed itself to his lips. "Shh." Tears streaming endlessly down his face he looked into Izzy’s eyes. He saw in them the pain he felt in his own heart. He leaned into her and kissed her with all the passion he could muster. It was a long, heart-wrenching kiss, mixed with both their tears. Felix didn’t want to pull away, and Izzy would have given anything that he would not. But he had to. It was over. It was all over. His eyes were closed as he moved away, and without looking at her again, he turned his back to her and ran across the wet field.Izzy stood in the same spot for a long time, staring at the spot Felix had disppeared from, tasting, feeling, remembering his kiss. She knew that she had hurt him badly. But no more that she had hurt herself. She did not want Felix to be mixed up in the craziness of her fathers impending actions, but being selfless did not come without a price. She walked home slowly. Putting one foot before the other look a lot of will and a lot of strength when all she wanted to do was to curl up in the middle of the road and allow the horses run her over. But she knew she had to go home.Felix ran all the way back to the King Farmhouse, his chest heavy with breathlessness and sobs. He through open the door and collapsed to the floor as he stepped inside. He wept and wept and wept. This counted three times – three times! - that he had though he’d lost her, the love of his life. He couldn’t bear this again."Felix King! Is that you. I need to talk to you young ma…" Janet said as she came into the front hallway. "Felix! What is the matter with you, dear?" Felix couldn’t speak. His sobs went on so long that Janet called Alec in to help him inside. He picked up his heartbroken son and helped him move in front of the fire."Felix, you’re soaking wet. You need to go up and change. You’lll catch nmonia," his mother warmed."Don’t you see?" he cried wildly. "Don’t you get it? I don’t care! I don’t care if I catch namonia! I don’t care! It’s over! It’s all over!" Felix dropped his head into his hands."Son," started Alec, trying to come up tih something wise and soothing to say."Forget in father. There’s nothing you can do. There’s nothing anyone can do now. It’s too late." Felix began to get mad. "If you all had been in the least bit supportive…" Felix stopped. "I’ll be home a little bit later," he said as he dashed out of the house again without an explanation. Izzy walked into her house slowly. She poked her head into the parlour only to tell her father and Murielle that she was home. The tears were still falling freely from her face and try as she might, she could not hide that from Murielle. "I’m home," she said weakly. "I’m going up to bed." Clive and Murielle watched after her as she made her was slowly up the stairs. "I’ll go talk to her," Murielle said. "I’ll go," offered Clive. "No Clive. This is a mother’s situation. And I like to believe that Izzy views me as her mother. Let me deal with the issues of the heart." "Alright," he consented as a knock was heard on the door. "And I’ll get the door." Murielle knocked lightly on Izzy’s bedroom door. "Go away. I don’t ever want to speak to you again father!" "Izzy, it’s me, Murielle." "What do you want." "I want to talk to you." Izzy got up off her bed and unlocked her door. "Yes?" Murielle took one look at Izzy and knew that there was something more to her pain than the reaction of her father to Felix’s proposal. "Izzy what happened," exclaimed Murielle, agast. Izzy began to cry harded. "It’s over. I ended it. I can’t believe things ended up this way!" "You ended what?" "I ended my relationship with Felix. I had no choice. Oh but Murielle, I’ve hurt him so badly. And I’ve hurt myself worse. What am I going to do without him? Felix is my everything!" Izzy sobbed. "Oh Izzy…" "What am I going to do Murielle? I don’t know what to do now." She leaned on Murielle and Murielle put her arms around her in a warm, loving, comforting embrace. But they were not the arms that Izzy wanted. Downstairs, Clive Pettibone moved to answer the door. "Yes…" He stopped. "Felix King. Leave," he said as he tried to shut the door. But Felix stepped in the way. "No," he said forcefully, his eyes firm and his jaw set. "No. You listen to me. I have respected and listened to you for almost eight years. Now it’s your turn to listen to me. I love your daughter. I have loved your daughter for a long time and I will continue to love her for the rest of my life. What you don’t know sir, is that Izzy broke up with me after you left. She broke up with me because she was afraid of what you would have done if she hadn’t. Don’t you get it? Your opinion and your word runs her life. For crying out loud Mr. Pettibone, she’s twenty-one years old! How old was Izzy’s mother when you wed her?" Clive was silent. "I asked you a question!" "Jessica was nineteen when I married her. But things have changed…" "You hypocritical bastard! So, it’s okay for things to have changed when they work in your favour but it’s completely unacceptable when they don’t? Men do not have to ask for a woman’s hand anymore! We asked your blessing in exchange! But that wasn’t enough for you was it? No! You needed the control! You were worried about you! But shouldn’t you be worried about Izzy? You’ve made her so unhappy that she felt that she had to give up on us! I don’t know what you need to do to change her mind, but I do know I refuse loose her because of you. I have nothing to lose here, sir. What’s it gonna be?" Clive Pettibone was stunned. He had no words. He was between awe and anger. "It doesn’t matter what father says Felix," said Izzy, running down the stair towards them, still crying. "I heard everything. And you were right. It doesn’t matter what Father says, dear Felix, because I love you. I love you for confronting father like this. I love you for being concerned about me, even though, less than an hour ago I broke your sweet, beautiful, loving heart. I’m sorry I put you through that Felix. Please forgive me." "You know I will Izzy. I already have." "Father, I’m going to ask you again for your blessing. But please understand that this is for me. I want to marry Felix father, and I will. But your blessing will make that day all the sweeter. Please." Clive thought for a moment. "Felix King. I’ve never liked you. I’ve always thought that you were a scheming coward, and I would have given anything to keep my daughter from falling in love with you. But staring me down in my own home, digging in your heals for something you believe in has made me change my mind. You have my blessing for you marriage…as long as you never throw vulgar words at me ever again!" "I’m sorry sir…in the heat of the moment…" Izzy’s millionth tear that day fell from her cheeks. "Thank you father. This means the world to me." "I respect you Izzy. I respect you as a responsible honorable young woman, and if becoming Felix King’s wife is where you feel God meant you to be, than who am I to step in the way of the Almighty?" "You’re a father. Thank you." "Take good care of her," he told Felix solemnly. "I will sir, we’ll take good care of each other." "Well, Clive Pettibone. You have an ounce of decency in you after all!" joked Murielle, coming in from outside the parlor where she’d heard everything. "I suggest that we leave these two alone to pick up their own pieces." Murielle winked at Izzy. Izzy smiled. "We’ll be in the study if you need us," were Clive’s last words as he shut the large open doors to the parlor. Izzy looked at Felix and stroked his handsome face. "I’m sorry about today." "Don’t worry about it." "No really. I feel so bad about hurting you like that." "Izz, seriously, I’m over it!" he smiled reassuringly at her. Izzy laughed. "What in Heaven’s name possessed you to come over here and speak to my father like that?" "I just figured that, since I’d already lost you and I’d never had your father’s respect in the first place, that I had nothing to lose…" "And everything to gain," she whispered, finishing his sentence. "So, now that we officially have your father’s blessing…" he said. "Yes…" Felix dug into his pocket and got down on one knee. "I should have done it this way the first time around," he laughed nervously. "Isolde Jessica Pettibone…um… ‘How do I love thee? Let me count the ways. I love thee to the depth and breadth and height my soul can reach, when feeling out of sight for the ends of Being and ideal Grace. I love thee to the level of every day's most quiet need; by sun and candle-light. I love thee freely, as men strive for Right; I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise. I love thee with the passion put to use in my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith. I love thee with a love I seemed to lose with my lost saints,--I love thee with the breath, smiles, tears, of all my life!’ I…uh….can’t remember the rest." He looked down, and then up again at her with a smile. "You are my life, Izzy. I don’t know what would have happened to me had we not fixed this whole mess, but it would not have been good. But now that everything is back to the way it should be…I want to ask you again, without floundering and studdering and looking like an idiot, if you be my wife. Marry me Izz?" "You know I will. How could I not after you quote Elizabeth Barrett-Browning to me? I love you Felix. Now slip that ring on my finger and stand up so you can kiss me!" she said in mock impatience. "Yes ma’am!" Felix obeyed, quickly slipping the ring on Izzy’s slender hand and standing up with out a moment’s pause to claim her lips in a kiss. "So how does it feel to be an engaged woman?" "Wonderful. But I wish we could have avoided this mess! It should have all gone so beautifully!" " ‘The best laid plans of mice and men…’" " ‘May oft’ go awry’. Felix had do you know all of this literature? First a love sonnet, and now a peom by Robert Burns? Where did you learn all of that." "A guy’s gotta do something in the middle of a war! Sometimes those were the only books available…the books of poetry." "Well, at least one good thing came out of that." "I guess." "Do you have anything more that you might want to recite to me?" "How about Shakespeare…" "Sure…" And together they sat in the parlor, as Felix romanced Izzy with his knowledge of English Literature. It was to be the first in a long line of evenings together, sitting in front of a bright fire. Of course, niether of them knew that then. At that precise moment they were simply contented just to be together.

Lost in Spirit


"Alright, I’m ready to go," announced Izzy as she bounced down the stairs, a small suitcase in hand. "Well then," said her father, "I guess we should be on our way!" Clive Pettibone stepped over to help his wife, 6 months pregnant Murielle, out of her chair. "Thank you Clive. Though I’m starting to think that this whole baby thing is a bad idea. Look at me! I look like an elephant!" "Murielle, for goodness sake…" Izzy scolded. "No Murielle Izzy’s right! You look fabulous! And it will all be worth it in the end…" he said quietly. Murielle smiled up into his face and kissed him. "Now, now you two, that’s enough of that! Save your lovey-dovey-ness for Halifax when you’re alone!" "You my dear," said Murielle jokingly, "are not one to talk! You and Felix…" "Hey, hey, hey! You can talk about my daughters love-life another time. I’m still getting used to the fact that she even has a love-life!" her father laughed. "Let’s go." Izzy, Murielle, and Clive were headed off to Halifax. Clive and Murielle were going to stay - the holidays were over and Clive needed to get back to work. Izzy was going only to get her things and then she would be back. She would be living on her own in their Avonlea house until she and Felix were married. The three of them piled into their motorcar. "Father, don’t forget to stop by and pick up Felix!" Izzy reminded him. "Gee, too bad you remembered…" Clive joked. Clive Pettibone had been in an incessantly cheerful mood lately, joking and playing around like a giddy school boy. "What’s gotten into you father?" asked Izzy. "What do you mean?" "I mean, you’ve been far to cheery lately." "Oh, I don’t know. I guess I’m just happy that’s all." "Okay…" Izzy said suspiciously. "It was awfully nice of Felix to offer to come with us to the station and bring the motorcar home." commented Murielle. "Well, it gives us a few extra moments together before I leave." "Izzy! You’ll be gone for a day! You’re going back on the train tomorrow!" "I know…" "Oh, speaking of the motorcar Izzy, you know that you have my permission to drive it whenever you like. It’s basically yours. It’s no good to me way over in Halifax and we’ll only ever be back to visit. So…just don’t get into an accident." "You know I’m a very careful driver Murielle. And thank you. I have my bicycle too so, I’ll be fine! Promise that you two won’t worry about me? "Of course we’ll worry about you. We’re leaving our little girl behind – alone!" Murielle cried. "But we also realize that your not ‘our little girl’ you’re a grown woman and you can take care of yourself." "Did you hear that father? Murielle’s figured out that I’m grown up! What about you?" Her father gave her no response. "Here we are," he said as they came upon the King Farmhouse. "Okay, I’ll be right back," Izzy said as she hopped out of the motorcar and ran to knock on the door. But Felix opened it before she had the chance. "That was quick!" she laughed. "I want to spend as much time as I can with you before you get on that train," he told her. "Is that so…" she smiled as she reached her arms around his neck. "Izz, you’re father and Murielle are over there watching…" "I don’t care," she whispered just before she captured his lips. "You, dearest, have been incredibly daring lately." "I guess I’m just in love with you!" "I guess." "Are you protesting Mr. King?" Felix laughed. "Not on your life," he replied. "That’s what I thought!" "Okay, but we actually really need to go now Izz, you’re going to miss your train…" "So what? Maybe I’ll just have Murielle pack up my things and send them over." "If that’s what you want to do…" "No, you know what? I’d better go. Wouldn’t want anyone to stumble across any of your letters…" "No! Those were definitely meant for your eyes only. You’d better go and pack for yourself." "Yeah." "Felix! Izzy! Are you coming or not! We’re going to miss our train if you two don’t stop lolly-gagging!" "Coming!" Izzy called out. When they got to the station they had just enough time to get their tickets and board the train. "Goodbye Felix. We’ll see you in the summer time for the wedding. Take care," said Murielle kindly. "Take care of my daughter while we’re away Felix. I’m trusting that you won’t take advantage of my absence?" "Of course not Mr. Pettibone. Izzy will be just fine. She’s like one of the family over at our house. There’s no need to worry. Goodbye Mr. Pettibone, Mrs. Pettibone." "Goodbye. Let’s get on the train Clive," Murielle said. They turned and boarded the train leaving Felix and Izzy with just a moment before she had to leave. "See you tomorrow?" "I wouldn’t miss it for the world." "Have a safe trip. I love you." "I will. I love you too." They exchanged a brief but fulfilling kiss. Felix handed Izzy her bag. They gave each other another quick hug. Izzy stepped onto the train. Felix waited to see her smiling face in the window. He stood on the platform and waved to her as the train left the station. Felicity heard a knock on the door of the foundling home. Her hands were soapy and wet hanging in the kitchen sink. "Gus!" she called "Could you please get the door?" She heard another knock. "Gus? Children?" she paused to hear an answer. When she didn’t she shook off her hands and grabbed a tea towel. "Forget it, I’ll get it myself." "Hello. Mrs. Felicity Pike?" asked a timid girl of no more that 18 years. "Yes, that’s me. How can I help you ?" asked Felicity kindly. "Oh, well, my name is Karen O’Connel miss and I heard in town that you run this foundling home. I was wondering if I might be any help to you here. I’m a hard worker, and I’m very good with children. When I’m older I want to have a house full of them you see. I really need a job and I hear that you really need someone to help you around here." "Well Ms. O’Connel, you’re right I do need someone to help me around this place. I don’t think we’ve met – do you have family here in Avonlea?" "No, miss, I don’t. I’m an orphan just like your children here. Only I’m too old to stay in a place like this one. That’s why I thought I could be of help to you. I’m just like the children you have." "Where have you been staying?" "Oh, no where miss. I’ve been sort of a way ward soul every since my mother died when I wasn’t a day older that eight. I lived in a Foundling Home over in Halifax, but when you turn fifteen they won’t have you any more. But I haven’t just been a beggar miss. I went to school, I did. I didn’t want to have no education to speak of. And I worked jobs here and there when I needed the money, usually nannying or homemaking for some of the better off folk on the Island. Those never lasted long because I don’t stand for being treated badly, you see. And those folk…they do nothing BUT treat you badly. But now I’m…I’m looking for something a little more premanant. I’m darn tired of being a floater miss. So that’s why I thought I’d come to see you. D’you think there might be a place for me here?" Felicity thought for a moment. "You know, Miss O’Connel…" "Oh, Karen, please…" "Well, Karen, I don’t usually just hire people who come to my door. But I like you. I need you here. And I think that you need to be here. I know you’ll be a hard worked and you seem very friendly and kind. You’re hired." "Oh! Thank you Mrs. Pike!" "Now that you work here, please call me Felicity." "What time do I start here in the mornings?" "Start here? No, I want you to live here. The Foundling Home will take you in return for your help with a few of the household things and with the children." "Oh! Miss! You are the most wonderful thing that has every happened to me!" "I’m glad. Since you’re older, you can have a room of your own. Do you have any things you need to bring with you?" "Oh, miss, not a dirty dish rag to my name but the clothes on my back." "We’ll soon take care of that." "New clothes?" "Why of course. We don’t have any that would fit you here. I’ll sew some up for you." "Oh! Thank you miss!" "Your more than welcome! Come, I’ll show you to your room and introduce you to everybody." That night, the King family was seated around the fire place. Felic yawned. "Alright everybody, I’ve got to go to bed. I’m exhausted. See you all in the morning." "Good night Felix dear," his mother said. "Good night mother." Felix walked sleepily up the stairs and into his bedroom. He couldn’t believe how incredibly tire he was. He didn’t even bother to change his clothes. He just collapsed onto his bed. But he couldn’t sleep. No matter how hard he tried he couldn’t find the spot on his pillow that would lull him into dreams. For more that two hours he lay there, unable to sleep. He heard the phone ring downstairs in the hallway. He heard his father get up to answer it. He heard this rushed, worried conversation. Then he watched as his father burst into his room. "Felix, get up lad. We have to go. There’s been a train wreck down the line, a few hours inland – they need all the help they can get to help the wounded. Let’s go." Felix pulled himself out of bed, almost happy to be going out. He and his father hitched up the buggy and drove as fast as they could towards the wreck, eager to help the poor souls that were facing disaster. Izzy sat up. Her head was aching. The pain started from the inside and pushed outwards until she thought he skull was going to split. She couldn’t open her eyes. Something sharp was stabbing her back. The air was cold. The voices around her were muffled by the pain in her head. Everyone seemed so frantic. She opened her eyes to find out what was going on. The people and the surroundings around her were all so unfamiliar. "Izzy!" Her name was called but she did not recognize it. A man clutching his pregnant wife took her by the shoulders and embraced her. She did not recognize them. They acted like she is family. They led her under a tree and sat down next to her. The strange woman kept touching her face and stroking her hair as if she knew and loved her. But she had never seen this woman before. Felix and Alec pulled the buggy up close to the site of the wreck. As Felix jumped out onto the hard ground the thought struck him. A thought he couldn’t believe hadn’t entered his mind earlier. What if this was Izzy’s train? He grabbed a hold of one of the uninjured passengers. "Excuse me. Can you tell me where this train was headed?" "Halifax." Felix thought he would faint. No, he thought, no, this couldn’t have been Izzy’s train. More that one train to Halifax goes through Avonlea every day. This couldn’t have been Izzy’s train. Scanning the area, Felix was desperate not to see Izzy and her family amongst the wounded and dead. But he saw her face. Izzy didn’t recognize the tall handsome boy that had just suddenly rushed up to her. She did not know him and yet he began to kiss her, over and over, on her lips, her cheeks, her ear, her hair. His lips traveled over her entire face but she couldn’t manage a word in protest. Her lips refused to move. "Oh, sweetheart! I’m so glad you’re alright. I was so afraid that…that you’d…but you’re okay," said the boy, tears streaming down his face, his hands shaking as they traced her profile. "Mr. And Mrs. Pettibone, we’re going to get you out of here. Are you two alright?" "I think so, Felix. We just need to go somewhere to warm up and collect ourselves," said the man with the pregnant wife. "Father," said the boy addressing the man he had come with. "Let’s get them to that Inn in Charlottetown we passed on the way here." "Actually Felix, the uninjured passengers are going to be put onto another train to take us to Halifax. There was one that left from Carmody not long ago…they’re sending it back here for us. But Alec if you’d be kind enough to take us up the tracks a ways to where the train will be docking…we’d walk, but I think Murielle needs to sit down." "Of course Clive, the buggy’s just over here. Come on Izzy," he said looking at her. She didn’t move. "Are you coming?" asked Felix. She supposed that he was talking to her. She got up and followed him into a buggy. The Carmody train came very quickly back for the passengers it was going to take to Halifax. "Father, I’m going to go with Izzy. I want to make sure that she’s okay. I’ll be back in Avonlea tomorrow." "Alright Felix. I’m going to go back and see what I can do to help back at the wreckage. See you tomorrow son. Take care. You too, Clive, Murielle. Take it easy. Maybe go to see a doctor tomorrow to make sure that you’re all just fine." "Thank you for your help Alec. We’ll make sure that Felix gets off alright tomorrow. See you in the summer for the wedding." Felix helped Clive help Murielle into the train. He took Izzy’s arm and helped her into the train. Once they were seated, Felix pulled Izzy’s shoulders over so that she was leaning on his chest. He kissed her hair and stroked her arm lovingly. She was too confused and too tired to move away. She shut her eyes and fell asleep. The next morning she woke up in a strange bedroom. She looked around her, frightened. On the dresser, she saw a framed photograph the young man who had help her so tightly the night before. She had been so bewildered and frightened yesterday that she had not spoken a word. She didn’t know who that boy was. She wondered if she’d have to see him again. She didn’t like the way he seemed to possess her body; the way he kissed her; the way he put his arms around her; the way he looked into her eyes. It made her uncomfortable to have someone look into her soul like that. There was a knock on her door. "Good morning," said the pregnant woman from the night before. "G-good mornig," she managed to say. "Are you going to come down for breakfast?" She managed a weak nod. "Come on then," the woman said quietly. "I’ll…I’ll just change my clothes." "Alright, I put away your things in the drawers. Felix is down stairs waiting for you." "Thank you." Izzy got dressed with a great deal of effort. She did not want to go downstairs to see this "Felix". Who was he and why did he want to see her? She found the stairwell and navigated her way to the kitchen. "Good morning," the man said to her. She smiled. "Hi, sweety," said the boy, kissing her cheek. "I’m sorry,’ she said politely, "but why do you keep kissing me?" The boy looked extremely puzzled. "What?" "Why do you keep kissing me? I don’t know you." The boy went white in the face. "Do you remember me?" the man asked her. "Should I? I don’t know any of you!" "What’s your name?" Murielle asked her. "I…I…don’t…I don’t know. I don’t remember." "Mr. Pettibone…what’s the matter with her," the boy asked fearfully. "I think she has amnesia Felix. But don’t worry she’ll be okay." "I have amsesia?" she asked them. "Don’t worry honey, we’re going to get you to a doctor today. You’ll get through this," said the boy, taking her protectively in his arms. She pushed him away. "Please…" she asked. The boy cried. The woman cried. The man cried.The next thing she knew, Izzy was whisked off to see a doctor, the most prominent authority on amnesia in eastern Canada. He was young. Too young, thought Felix. He couldn’t have been much older than he was. And there was something in his eyes that Felix didn’t trust."Doctor," Felix asked him, "don’t you think it would be a good idea to take Izzy back to Avonlea. I’m sure that it would help her to regain her memory in a place that is familiar to her. I think that…""Mr. King, nowhere is familiar for Isolde. In actual fact, what you perceive to be what will help her, may really hinder her. It’s best that she stay here in Halifax where I can keep an eye on her progress." "But Doctor, don’t you think…"Izzy couldn’t believe what was happening. Didn’t anyone care what she thought? Who were these strangers to be making decisions she could capably make herself?"Excuse me," she said forcefully. "If you would stop fighting over what best for me and listen to the person who is actually living this, maybe we’d get somewhere faster." Felix stopped talking."You’re right, Izz, I’m sorry," apologized Felix."No I’m sorry…Felix is it?" Felix nodded, the sting of not be remembered by Izzy penetrating his heart. "Yes, Felix, I am sorry. I know that you love me. But I don’t love you…or at least I don’t remember loving you. Please, I don’t want to hurt you. But I don’t want to go to this Avonlea of yours. Not until I recognize it as being ‘home’. You understand that, don’t you?" Felix sighed deeply."Yes, I understand. I still have to leave though. I don’t know that I can be around you without…I don’t think I can do it. I have to go back to Avonlea. And I guess I’ll be doing it without you." "I’m sorry I…" "I know you are Izz. So am I. Doctor, what can I do to help Izzy regain her memory?" "Well, Mr. King, stay away for awhile. Don’t talk to her, don’t write to her, don’t visit her." "Why…" "We can’t rush matters of the brain. Things will come back to her in pieces. And it’s better if they just come to her without any strong, outside stimulation." "No contact?" "That’s right." "What about us?" Clive asked. "As her parents, legally, we need you to be around at all times. Anything we do must be with your permission. So in that sense you must stay with her. On the other hand, showing her family photos or other momentis might be pushing things too fast for her. When the time is right, Isolde will let you know, as will I. But Mr. King, don’t you have a train to catch?"Izzy accompanied Felix to the train station. She felt bad for him – he was so hurt over this whole ordeal but what was she to do? She couldn’t lie to him and tell him she loved and remembered him. That would be living a falsehood and it wouldn’t be fair to him – or to her."Well this is it I guess Izzy.""I’m so sorry about this Felix. I really, really am. I didn’t ask for this to happen. But I’m hoping that I’ll recover. So I guess…I’ll see you when I do?""I guess so. If you ever need me I will always be there. I know it doesn’t mean much right now but I love you…so much. And hopefully, one day soon, you’ll remember that you love me too. I can’t live with out you. If you never remember…we’ll…we’ll start over. I will make you fall in love with me all over again…I need you…I…""Felix if you don’t get on the train it’s going to leave without you.""I’m sorry. Goodbye." He bent down to kiss her – then recoiled, clenching his fists. He turned his back and walked onto the train. He sat down and looked out the window at the girl he loved with all his heart- the shell of what once was the beautiful, soulful Izzy – as the train crept away from the station.Felix shook his head at himself. He hadn’t meant to get into it with Izzy like that. He hadn’t even wanted her to come. He’d meant to leave his goodbyes in a note, rather that face the girl that didn’t remember that she loved him.When Izzy got back to the house, she walked slowly towards her bedroom. She hadn’t wanted to hurt Felix. She felt so bas that she’d had to. Maybe she shouldn’t have walked him to the station. Maybe that had dug the knife further into his being. She should have let him say goodbye in his own way. That was when she noticed the note. She opened the folded paper that had been propped up against the handsome picture of the boy who had just left her side. "Izzy" it read, "I know that the doctor advised me against saying anything to you that might ‘force’ your recovery, but I need to say a few things to you so that you understand. I love you more than anything else in the world. You are my heart. Without you I am hollow. You have no idea what is going on inside me. I struggle with myself as to what to do in this situation. I’ve decided that, despite the doctors orders, I must be true to you and true to myself, above all else. I am nothing if you are not by my side. I want to kiss your hair, your cheeks, your nose, your eyelashes, your lips. I want to feel you kiss back. I want to hold you close to me, breathe in the scent of that perfume of yours that drives me so crazy I can’t see straight. I want to feel the contours of your hips and the small of your back. I want to feel you playing with my hair as we embrace. I want you to straighten my tie and pick the invisible pieces of lint off my suit when we go out on the town, even though it annoys me. I want to take your small, pale, freckled hand in my large one and walk with you down the paths we know so well…..and I can’t. That very fact makes me so angry and sad and disappointed and insane all at the same time. And it’s not your fault. I don’t blame you for losing your memory. I blame myself for letting you get on the train, for not getting to you sooner. I could have helped you….I should have been there…but wasn’t and now we are being held back yet again from simply being together. It’s killing me. I just wanted you to know that somewhere, amidst all this craziness, is a love that has outlast every obstacle that’s been throw out. Find that love, Izzy, and cling to it. And we’ll find our way back to each other. Get better soon Izz. Love, me."Felix got off the train in Avonlea, glad to be setting foot on PEI soil again. He had not telephoned to let his family know that he was coming back. He needed to walk home alone to figure out what was in his head and to find a way to tell them what was going on. As he came to the King Farmhouse all the lights were ablaze. He was happy not to be coming home to a dark house. He stepped through the door."Everyone! I home!""Felix! Is that you?""Yes mother, it’s me." He walked into the kitchen."Let me set a place for you dear.""It’s alright mother…I’m not hungry.""Felix…how is Izzy?" asked Cecily, cautiously. Felix drew in a long jagged breath."Um…" he started, shaking and beginning to cry, "she’s….uh…suffered from…um…amnsesia. She doesn’t remember…anything. She doesn’t remember her family, she doesn’t remember Avonlea. She doesn’t remember me…""Oh Felix…" said his mother, her heart breaking for her son."Are you sure Felix? She doesn’t remember a thing?" his father asked."Nothing. At all. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know what I can do. I feel so helpless!"The days and the weeks past and Felix heard not a word from Halifax. The Pettibone’s didn’t even write to update him on Izzy’s progress. He assumed it was because there was no progress. So did everyone else. But the difference was, he wasn’t willing to give up on her. Even Cecily had given up on her best friend ever regaining her memory. "People don’t just miraculously come through these things Felix," his parents said to him. "Don’t waste your life waiting for a miracle that is never going to happen." But how could he just abandon her, forget her just as fast as she had forgotten him? He couldn’t. He knew that. But nobody understood. Except one person. And that was the one person he decided to turn to."I’m be to staying at the Foundling Home with Felicity," he told his parents one night at the dinner table. "Why?""Because she understands what I’m going through an supports my decision to wait for Izzy to return to me.""But Felix..""No father, I have to do this…for me. I’ll be in touch tomorrow. Love you."He walked to the Foundling Home, bag in hand, and knowcked on the door. A girl answered. Felix almost fell over backwards. She looked so much like Izzy. But it wasn’t her. He didn’t look at this girl."Who are you?" he asked rudely."My name is Karen. I work here.""Oh. Is Felicity here?" "Yes. Who are you?""I’m her brother.""Come in, please."Felix dropped his bag in the front hallway and went to find Felicity."She’s in the dining room, if you’re looking for her," Karen offered sweetly. Felix didn’t reply."Felicity?""Hey Felix. How are you?""I’m okay. I was wondering if you had any spare rooms here. I can’t stay at the Farmhouse. Everybody is telling me to move on…to forget…I can’t do that!""I know…I know you can’t," said Felicity gently, giving her brother a warm, sisterly hug. "And that’s okay. I understand. Of course you can stay here.""I;m willing to help you here with the kids. I need to get my mind of Izzy.""Of course. We can always use a little help around here. In fact, there’s a new girl here, Karen, and she’s been helping me here too. We’ve had a new baby arrive here, but I’m so busy…would you mind helping her with the baby. She’s really very sweet and easy to take care of.""Sure."And so is how it is that Felix came to be working at the Foundling Home. He worked side by side with Karen, taking care of the new baby, Maisie as they called her. All the while, he could not look at her. She reminded his of Izzy too much. He knew he came off as being rough and rude but he could not look at her. He felt as though he owed her an apology, but he couldn’t even muster Izzy’s name, let alne tell anyone her story.Izzy sat in the doctors chair one afternoon looking out the window, waiting for the doctor to examine her. She didn’t hear his footsteps behind her. In her ear he whispered, "It’s a beautiful afternoon, isn’t it?" Izzy jumped. "Yes, it is," she said jerkily. "I didn’t mean to startle you…Izzy." He called her by her nickname. "It’s alright Doctor Christian…" "Please, Izzy, call me Robert. There’s no need to be formal." He smiled at her. Izzy’s hand went cold. "You haven’t received any letters of telephone calls or anything like that from that boy…Felix…have you?" "No doctor." "Good," he said, a little too quickly. "Doctor, I was wondering if it would be too much to ask to take a trip back to my old home in Avonlea. I think it might do me some good." "No! You musn’t be in contact with anyting fro your old life other than you parents." "Why?" "Because…it will hinder your progress. You know that." "Yes but…" "No Izzy. Those are Doctors orders. Now I think you may go home." Izzy stood up, confused by the Doctors behavior, and left. Robert Christian watched Izzy leave. She was so beautiful. He couldn’t stand it. He was in love with her, he knew he was. She couldn’t go back to Avonlea. It might jog her memory. And that didn’t fit into his plan… Felix hated working with Karen. It drove him crazy that she was so much like Izzy. In the way she talk, the way she moved… He couldn’t help but be cross towards her. But she was so nice – so much like Izzy. He knew that she had a crush on him. But what was he supposed to do? He couldn’t tell her about Izzy, it hurt too much. But he felt so wrong in letting her think that he was available. And they were working so closely together. He knew that, sooner or later, something was going to happen and he’d have to tell her the truth. Izzy woke up. She had fallen asleep reading what her…father…had told her was her favorite book – "Wuthering Heights". She had dreamed about that boy, Felix. She dreamt that they were together on the shore of some body of water. Felix put his arm around her. She asked him what he was doing. He’d wanted to kiss her. But she hadn’t been ready. Izzy awoke with a start. She wondered if it had been only a dream, or if it had been a memory. "I’ll have to tell Robert about this today," she said aloud to herself. Izzy was alone that afternoon when she went to her appointment with the good doctor. She had written down her dream so that she could tell him about it in detail. "Izzy!" he smiled as she entered his office. "Hi Robert," she said cheerily. "I wanted to ask you something." "Of course, anything for my favorite most beautiful patient!" "I had this dream last night, and I don’t know if it was just a dream or if it was actually a memory." "Why don’t you tell me about it." "Well, you remember Felix? He was in it. We were an the bank of a…river, I think, and he put his arm around me and told me that the next logical step in our friendship would be kissing. He wanted to kiss me, but I wasn’t ready, and…" "Izzy? Do you think you’d be ready if…" "If what doctor?" "If I did this," he said as he took possession of Izzy’s lips. She closed her eyes. She had a hideous headache. Her whole life flashed before her eyes as if on it’s way back into her head after a brief vacation. Suddenly she remembered everything. "Excuse me!" she exclaimed. "Get you hands off of me! I am an engaged woman! I don’t know what you’ve been trying to pull but what you didn’t pull was the wool over my eyes! I remember everything now, clearly! I can’t believe a doctor would take advantage of a patient in the way that you have. You’re going to pay for this, do you hear me? Oh, when my father hears about this. And Felix! I’d be surprised if you LIVED after Felix gets a hold of you. This appointment is over!" And with that, Izzy stormed out of the office. "Father? Murielle! Where are you?" "Izzy?" excliamed her father. It was the first time he’d heard her call him ‘father’ since the accident. "Izzy are you okay?" asked Murielle. "I’m fine. I’m wonderful! I have my memory back!" "That amazing Izzy! We owe Doctor Christian a big thank you!" "We most certainly do not! He just tried to kiss me! He deserves to be sued! Anyway, anyway, I need to get on the first train back to Avonlea! Felix will be so excited!" "Felix," asked Karen, "will you please hand me Maisie’s diaper?" "Yeah," was Felix’s only response. He handed it to her but she didn’t take it, she just looked at him. "Felix look at me." "Why?" "Look at me." "I can’t." "You’ve not once looked me in the eye. Why is that?" "I can’t tell you." "You are going to tell me or I’m just going to have to talk to Felicity about this. It drives me nuts! We work together all the time and yet you barely speak to me. What is your problem." "My problem," he said looking at her through angry eyes," is that the love of my life has been ripped away from me for the millionth time. She doesn’t remember me, she doesn’t remember the promises that we made to each other…she doesn’t remember anything. Right now she’s in Halifax with a doctor that I do not trust at all. I’m not aloud to go see her, to talk to her, even to write to her. I feel like I’m going around in circles. Then I have to work with you everyday and you look and act so much like her that I feel like killing myself rather that look at you. Happy? I’ve told you everything are you happy?" "Felix, I’m sorry, I didn’t know." "It’s not your fault. I know that I should move on. I don’t how I can when all I want to do is sit down and cry. But I can’t help but give up. Everyone was right. I’ve got to face it." Karen touched his arm gently, in sympathy she told herself. She looked into his eyes for the first time. They were such beautiful eyes. Such soulful eyes. She leaned towards him and gently, slowly pressed her lips to his. Felix heard the knock on the door, but couldn’t move his legs to get it. He was numb. He couldn’t believe what was happening but was too shocked to stop it. He hadn’t heard her voice as she talked cheerily with Felicity. He hadn’t heard her footsteps as she walked closer to the room. He hadn’t heard the creak of the door as she opened it. But he heard the silence as she watched him, lip to lip, with another girl.

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