If These Walls Could Talk

The Conclusion to Episode Four: Lost in Spirit!

Almost on cue, an Island Storm began to rage outside as Izzy stood aghast, watching Felix kissing Karen. Felix couldn’t breathe. His lungs fought against him. "Izz, this is not what it looks like…" he started. Izzy collapsed in mock relief. "Oh good," she said sarcastically, "because it looked like you were kissing this girl." "Izz come on, you know that I wouldn’t do that…I love you…I…" he stopped mid-sentence. "You have your memory back?" "Way to go Einstein." "Izzy please…" "Please what Felix? What do you want me to say when I walk into a room and your making out with some girl I don’t know?" "I don’t expect you to say anything. But I would expect you to listen and try to understand." "Understand! You want me to UNDERSTAND? I understand all right. I understand that while I was struggling to regain any semblance of memory, you were here playing kissy-face! I was going through HELL over there in Halifax and then I come home to find…" "You were going through Hell? What do you think it was for me, a picnic? How do you think it feels to have your fiancée not remember you? Every time I tried to touch you, to kiss you, you pushed me away! And then I was forced to come back home and wait helplessly by the telephone for any news that you might be recovering. I had to stand up to a whole town full of people that didn’t believe in you! How do you think that felt Izz?" "Good enough for you to turn to someone else." "This was not what it looked like Izzy! I told you that! If you’d have come in one moment earlier, you’d have heard me pouring out our sob-story to one of the only people in this town that would listen and understand. I did not kiss Karen! She kissed me! I swear to you Izz…" "But you didn’t pull away," said Izzy in a softer tone, a tear streaming down her pale cheek. "Yes I did Izzy. That kiss meant nothing. The only kiss that means something to me is yours. You know that," said Felix whispering. "I thought I did." "Izzy, Felix?" said Karen timidly. "What?" the both asked her gruffly. "Felix is right. I kissed him. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to cause any trouble between the two of you. I didn’t know you were coming in. I didn’t think that you’d recover. I talked myself into thinking that it would be okay for me to fall in love with him. I was wrong and I’m sorry. I’m…um…going to help Felicity with dinner." And she left them alone to talk things through. They sat in silence for a long time. Felix stared out the window at the hurling storm, at the rain pounding down on the pane, as a few stray tears traveled down his cheeks. Izzy looked into the burning fire, an endless stream of tears falling from her eyes. Neither of them knew what to say. Finally, Felix broke the silence. "Izz, when did you regain your memory." "At my appointment yesterday with Robert." "Robert? You were calling him Robert?" "He asked me to." "So did it just, all of the sudden, come back to you?" "Yeah. He kissed me and then everything flooded back." "Wait a minute. He kissed you?" "Yes." "Like Karen kissed me?" "That’s different." "How?" "I didn’t remember every loving you." "But you didn’t kiss him. He kissed you. So memory has nothing to do with it." "Yes it does Felix! You shouldn’t have let her kiss you." "It didn’t happen like that Izzy. It was out of the blue. She just kissed me. And all I could think about was you." Izzy said nothing and continued too stare into the fire. "Izzy what do I have to do to make you believe me?" he asked desperately. "I do believe you," she whispered, crying. "I believe that you wouldn’t do that. And I know that you love me. But I can’t get the image out of my head." Her entire body began to shake. "It keeps playing over and over in my mind and I can’t get rid of it. The picture of you with someone else is engraved in my memory. And it’s keeping me from walking over to you and kissing you and lying in you arms. It’s there and I don’t know if it’s ever going to go away." Felix was crying. He walked over to her and knelt down. He took her hands and kissed her palms. His head fell in her lap. "Now what?" he asked through his tears. "I don’t know," said Izzy, running her fingers through his hair. "I don’t know." Felicity had finished dinner. Karen had not come to help her as she’d expected. She assumed she was with Felix and Izzy. Felicity walked over to the parlor and peaked through the glass pane on the door. Karen wasn’t there. Felix was leaning on the fireplace, his head rested in his hand. Izzy sat curled up in a chair. Every so often her hand moved to her cheek to wipe away a tear. Felicity decided that neither of them would be likely to want dinner. She’d best leave them alone, she thought. When everyone was seated at the table, Callie asked, "Felicity? Where’s Felix?" Karen looked at her plate. "He’s with Izzy," Felicity responded, looking questioningly towards Karen with her down-turned eyes. "Izzy’s back?" Edward asked. "Yes." "Aren’t they going to have dinner?" "Not right now." "But Felicity! When I don’t wanna eat dinner at the ‘zact time it’s ready you tell me I’ll go to bed without it! Why is Felix allowed?" "Because F’licity said so Edward!" said Gus. "Felix and Izzy are grown-ups now dear and they are talking about grown-up things and can’t be disturbed. They will eat later." "Oh." The Pike’s and their accumulation of children finished supper in silence. As Felicity and Karen cleaned away the dishes, Karen was unusually silent. "Karen," asked Felicity, " are you alright?" "Yes," she said quietly. "Do you know what’s wrong with Felix and Izzy?" "Yes…me," she said, ashamed. "What?" "I am what’s wrong with them. I kissed Felix." "You what? Karen…" "I know. I know I shouldn’t have. I didn’t mean for Izzy to walk in on us! I didn’t want to ruin their relationship…I…" "Oh Karen. What a mess this is! Do you have any idea the things those two have gone through just to be together? And now this…! I suppose that Izzy is very upset." "Yes. She is. Very" "I have a felling they’re going to be in that parlor for a while. We’d best help the children get ready for bed." Felix watched as the clock ticked. It had been two hours since Izzy last spoke. Two painful, brutally slow hours. "Izzy? What are you thinking?" There was no response. "Izzy?" Again no response. "Great. Now you’re not even talking to me. That’s going to get us far!" he said under his breath. "Excuse me Felix King, but I believe that I have every right not to talk to you!" "You’re right. I’m not perfect…that’s a wonderful reason to not talk to me." "I’ve never once asked you to be perfect." "I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that." "You’re right, you shouldn’t have." "Izzy, why are you acting like this?" "Like what? Like I’m hurt or angry or dying inside? Is that how I’m acting? Because frankly I’m feeling all the above." "Ok, fine. If there’s nothing I can do to make you fell differently then…" he said as he quickly moved closer to her and claimed her lips in a furious kiss. Hands on his chest, she pushed him away. "You can’t just kiss away our problems Felix." "Alright, Izzy. What do you want me to do? If I walk out of here right now, you’re never going to talk to me again. We can’t seem to talk through our problems because you would talk to me. And I can’t kiss away anything. So, tell me, where does that leave us." "It leaves us standing here wondering what to do now." "And how do you suppose that we figure that out?" "Felix! I don’t have all the answers!" "You sure as Hell seem like you do!" "Don’t speak to me like that." "Izzy!" "What!" "Ugh!" Felix let out a frustrated cry. And again, they sat in complete silence. Felicity was sitting quietly in the kitchen, sipping her tea. The children were all asleep and she and Gus had just managed to get Lily to settle down. She looked at the clock – it was nine. Izzy had arrived at four thirty. That counted four and a half hours that she and Felix had been alone in the parlor, and despite a few moments of raised voices, they’d been completely silent. Felicity was beginning to worry. What could be going on in there to keep them so long. She decided to warm them up something to eat and take them in a pot of tea. At least they’d have something to sustain them if they were to keep up this lengthy pattern. She prepared a tray for them and walked towards the parlor. There was nothing but silence to be heard. She opened the door very slowly, walked in without looking at either of them, placed the tray on the table, and left. She did not want to interrupt what was going on. Izzy reached over and poured herself a cup of tea. "Felix? Would you like some tea?" "Please." She poured him a cup. "No cre…" "No cream and just a little bit of sugar," she said, finishing his sentence. "Yeah. Thanks." "You’re welcome." "I love that you remember what I take in my tea," he told her. "We are engaged to be married." "I hadn’t forgotten." "Oh?" "Izzy, come on…" "I’m sorry." "Me too." "Felix you know that I love you." "I love you too." "I know you do. And you know that I want to spend the rest of my life with you." "I know. I want that too." "Then why do you always have to go and do something stupid to mess it all up Felix! Every time I think we’re getting somewhere something happens to get in our way! Maybe we’re missing the big picture here! Maybe somebody, somewhere is trying to tell us that we…" "Izzy! Are you listening to yourself? You’re losing it! I’m worried about you! You realize that you just suggested that maybe we’re not meant to be together?" "Well maybe we’re not!" she cried as she ran out the door and into the storm. Now Felix was worried. These storms had been known to be cold enough to freeze crops and strong enough to blow down houses. It was no place out there for a young woman with nowhere to go. Felix ran out the door after her. Felicity heard the door slam a second time as Felix ran outside. She looked out their bedroom window in time to see their two forms running after each other. "Gus," she called, waking him from his sleep. "What is it F’licity? "Izzy and Felix have just run out into that storm. I think we’d better go after them to make sure they’re okay." "F’licity you know that that’s nonsense. You can’t go out there lookin’ far them, y’know that. Yull jest get yerself sick. And you don’t know whar it is they were goin’ niether. The best thing we can do is to stay put and wait for ‘em to come back ‘ere. They will F’licity. It’s too miserable a night far them to be out thar long." "I know Gus, but what if they don’t come home?" "We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it, F’licity. Come on downstares now. I’ll fix us a pot a tea and we’ll wait far them to come home. I know we won’t get any sleep anyway." "Thank you Gus," said Felicity, deeply worried about her younger brother and his fiancée out there in that storm. Karen too had heard the two upset lovers leave the house and run into the storm. She looked out the window after them. She was sorry - she really was. She just liked Felix so much… Felix ran after Izzy desperately, trying hard not to loose sight of her. He had no idea where she was headed. Izzy ran hard. She didn’t know what from. Perhaps Felix, perhaps feelings, perhaps life. She didn’t know why she was running only that she had to do it. She didn’t know where she was going. Her feet took on lives of their own and she had little say in their direction. They led her to the edge of the angry ocean, it’s spray hurled upon her face fighting with the rain for somewhere to pound, her hair was blown madly into the wind. Felix caught up to her. "Izzy!" he yelled over the roar of the ocean. "Izzy!" Izzy just looked out. All she could see was rough water and grey sky. And it overwhelmed her. She didn’t care about her wet clothes, or ‘catching her death’, as her father always warned her. Only about watching the water hit the sand with a blow, each time harder and less patient. "Izzy!" Felix called again after some time. She bore him no response. This time he grabbed her by the shoulders. He took her hand forcefully and they ran back to the Foundling Home. "Gus! They’re back!" Felicity said in a loud whisper. "Thank heaven." "Let’s go to bed." "We’re not going to wait up for them?" "No, they need the time alone. I just wanted to know that they got home safely." "Whatever you say F’licity." Then they walked hand in hand up the staircase and into bed. Felix and Izzy ran through the front door of the Foundling Home, soaking wet. Water dripped off their drenched bodies. "Felix," Izzy said, the first time she’d addressed him in hours. "Felix if we don’t get out of these clothes we’re going to catch pneumonia!" "But I don’t have another change of clothes, Neither do you." "We have to get out of these clothes, Felix!" "What do you want to do?" "I…I guess…I guess we’ll have to be in our underwear." "What?" "What are we supposed to do? Wait for death?" "You’re right. It’s just…it’s sort of improper!" "I know, but we have to!" "Okay." "Don’t look," she instructed him. Felix turned his back as Izzy began to undress. She peeled off her wet clothes and hung them in front of the fireplace. "Okay, she said, wrapping herself in a blanket. "I’m done." "I guess it’s my turn." "Felix, I won’t have my Fiancée dying on me because of wet clothes. I won’t look." Izzy hid her eyes. Felix too undressed and hung his clothes in front of the fire place. He grabbed the quilt her knew Felicity kept in the closet and threw it around himself. "Okay," he let her know he was through. Silence won over the couple again. Time ticked away. The hours passed without notice. It was midnight, than one, two, three o’clock in the morning. Felix looked over at Izzy who was curled up in the chair again, staring. She looked down at her hands. "I have my mother’s hands," she told him quietly. "If they weren’t hers, I’d hate them. Look at them, they’re such strange hands. But they’re hers. I have nothing of my mother but her hands." Felix looked at her, bewildered as to how the conversation turned to the late Mrs. Pettibone’s hands. "Izz, you are everything of your mother. I’ve only seen a few pictures but I look at her and all I see is you." Izzy shook her head. "She was beautiful wasn’t she? She was so kind. I don’t remember her. I only remember little things. How she smelled – like peppermint. I remember small bits of her voice, like when she was reading me a story, or telling my about the wonderful things in store for my life and all the things she hoped for me. And you know what I remember? I remember her telling me that one day, I would grow up and I would fall in love with a man as kind and noble and strong as my father. And I did." She paused. "But my father left her. And she died because of it." "Izzy, we are not your parents…" "I know! It’s just I…I wish she was here…to…to help plan our wedding and to love you and know you as I do and to assure me that I had met the man that would be my everything. And you are Felix, you are my entire world. But…" "Izzy, you never, ever need to doubt in us. My love, I will never leave you." "My father said the same things." "Look at me. Look at me!" She looked into his eyes. "I love you. And I will never leave you. Ever. And if you ever start to feel like doubting in us, like things are too much for you, you need to come to me and we will get through it all together. I promise." Izzy collapsed into his arms, sobbing. "I don’t know why I’m so emotional!" she cried. "I guess it’s just everything all piled up into one big thing. Amnesia and Karen…and my mother. Oh Felix!" She buried her head into his shoulder and they both cried and cried and cried. They rocked back and forth in each other’s embrace. Felix moved to sit down on the floor in front of the fireplace. He kissed Izzy’s hair. "Izz, what if things don’t go as I’ve planned them. What if I can’t be a good husband and a good father and provide for our family…what if I fail you?" Felix said, expressing the doubt that had been plaguing him since their engagement. "Felix, you are going to be a wonderful husband and an amazing father! And love is the main thing that needs to be provided and I know that you have a lot to give. You have nothing to worry about, dear heart." "Izzy? About where we’re going to live…" "It doesn’t matter to me, as long as we’re together." "Well, I was thinking that we can either move into the empty King house at the other end of our property, or I might buy your father’s house from him." "Father’s house?" "He will be selling it after we’re married and so I thought, why not buy it from him. Furniture and everything. Give ourselves a really homey start?" "That sounds wonderful. But what about the farm." "I am not a farmer. I’m not cut out for it and I don’t want to do it. I’m set to inherit the Hotel from Mr. Tremain. He’s already named me his heir. I want to take over the Hotel! I love the Hotel! So, buying your father’s house makes sense, since I won’t ever be in need of land to farm. Cecily can have the land I was to inherit. Or Daniel if he wants it. But I don’t deserve to have it. It’s not my thing, y’know?" "Yeah.. I love you Felix." "I love you too."They sat together for a long time, neither caring to speak. As her eyelids began to get heavy, Izzy lay her head down on the floor. Felix reached to take a couple of pillows from the chesterfield and placed one under Izzy’s head. He lay down beside her and they fell asleep, curled up in the arms of their beloved, wrapped in a bitter sweet, contented slumber. What a story these walls would tell…if these walls could talk.